South Parka
by KnightSky95
Summary: Kenny's heroics earns him the attention of Wendy and it's up to boyfriend Stan to win her back.
1. Chapter 1

The boys, having just escaped Mr. Garrison's class, headed to the cafeteria to see what "food" the school was dealing that day. Upon arrival at the table they realised that there were only three free seats and the group looked at each other with the obvious realisation that there are four of them (one more than there were seats).

"Sorry Kenny" said Stan.

They all sat down except for Kenny who gave them an icy glare and then walked away disappointed. As they ate, Stan's girlfriend Wendy approached the table.

"Hey, Stan, I notice you haven't spoken to me in a while, is everything alright."

"Everything's fine", he responded in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come to the library with me and study"

"As tempting as studying sounds, I'm kinda eating with my friends now. Maybe another time, possibly"

"Oh, alright, I see", she said and looked down in a familiar look of disappointment.

Kenny sat at another table with Butters, although he didn't mind since he and Butters were sort of unspoken best friends. Butters had on occasion said that Kenny was the only one in the school he actually liked and Kenny felt like the only one who was willing to tolerate his unnerving child-like innocence that he respected.

"You know Kenny, I sure am glad you're here", Butters told him.

"Mmmm-mm", Kenny mumbled unintelligibly, although everyone in the world seemed to understand what he was saying.

Kenny pointed to the bathroom and looked at Butters. Butters nodded in return to allow him to go. Kenny briefly left. No sooner had he closed the bathroom door behind him did Butters begin to miss him, especially when he began choke. His face turned red and he began hammering the lunch table with his fist. After several seconds of nobody noticing, Kyle said,

"Dude, I think Butters is choking!"

"What are we supposed to do again?" responded Cartman.

"We've got to give him the Heimlich manoeuvre"

"What's that?"

Kyle stood behind Cartman to show him and began demonstrating it on him.

"Get off me dude, you're going to make people think I'm gay doing that to me"

Unbeknownst to them, in the background, Kenny had returned to find Butters nearing suffocation as the others argued of the homosexuality of the motion. Kenny was undeterred by the opinion of a group who didn't care about him and swiftly saved Butters' life. Offering a friendly hand to rest on his shoulder.

"Dude", said Cartman to Kenny, "That looked gay"

Kenny flipped him off and him and Butters skipped hand-in-hand through a field of long grass towards the sunset. That should show Cartman he doesn't know what he's talking about.

While Cartman was under the impression that performing "sexually suggestive" actions with another boy would get you mocked, the others in the class, especially the girls, did not share his sentiments and Kenny quickly became a folk-hero among the school, to Cartman's chagrin. Kyle couldn't help but notice the way Wendy in particular was looking at him. Smiling as she rested her chin in her hands with her elbows on the desk and she stopped to brush her hair away from her eyes when Kenny glanced over, which he did often and Kyle was only just noticing.

With the four boys sitting at the lunch table again, like old times, Cartman continued to mock Kenny when Wendy came over to the table.

"I don't really feel like studying today Wendy, can we do this another time?" Stan said without looking up from his comic book.

"Relax Stan, I'm not here to talk to you, I'm here to talk to Kenny"

"Mmm?!" said Kenny.

"So Kenny", she began, "Do _you_ want to go and study?"

Stan, still reading, did a brief double take and noticed Kenny looking at him in anticipation of his response while Wendy stood behind Kenny smiling with equal eagerness.

"You can go study with her Kenny, you don't need my permission", he blurted out before returning to his book.

"Great!" she exclaimed, "C'mon Kenny, let's go"

The two went off excitedly. A slightly nervous Kyle asked Stan,

"Aren't you worried that Kenny's going to steal your girlfriend?"

"Not really"

Only a few days later, Wendy came to talk to Stan,

"Stan, I'm breaking up with you"

"What, why?" he said in shock.

"You keep ignoring me and I'm fed up of it – and Kenny's fed up of it too"

"But Kenny never talks!"

"He talks to me, and I talk to him and he listens because he knows what it's like to get ignored. It's nothing against you, you just need to know what it feels like before you'll learn your lesson"

"But Wendy, please don't do this. I can't bear it"

"There, you're starting to get it already"

Stan went and tried to reason with Kenny.

"Kenny, I need to talk to you"

Kenny mumbled what Stan barely made out as "Oh, _now_ you want to talk to me?"

"Yes Kenny, look I'm sorry"

"Mmm-mm"

"What do you mean you've always had a crush on her? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Mm-m"

"You did? How many times? That many? Wow, you're right, I really don't listen to you"

The group arrived in class the next day to discover Kenny didn't wait to be snuffed out of the group, he had already arrived early (as Wendy did every day) and was sitting next to her. Meaning Token had to take the seat next to Cartman.

"Lame", he said as he tried to shuffle his table away from him.

"Don't blame Kenny", said Kyle to Stan, "It was your own fault"

After class, Stan and the other two left the school and entered the playground outside to find that Wendy sat on the bench while all the girls stood around her. When Stan got closer to see what was going on he saw that Kenny was on one knee in front of her with his guitar playing and mumbling the words to "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton. Stan was too stunned to be angry as Kenny played the romantic licks so beautifully. Stan was already aware of Kenny's musical abilities having seen him get perfect score on "Crazy Train" on Guitar Hero, only a few hours before he overdosed at the celebratory party, a tragedy nobody could remember. As the girls stood back at the end of the song, a blushing Wendy and Kenny noticed Stan watching them. Stan merely looked back at them in contempt and walked away looking annoyed. It was unfortunate that Stan couldn't see how much Kenny felt bad for him - but not guilty though.

He knew not to look back because all he'd see is them kissing and he didn't want to see that, it'd only make him angry.

"Aw dude, look", Cartman said, "She just licked his face"

Stan couldn't help but turn around and see Kenny and Wendy blushing with both embarrassment and happiness, as if to say "I can't believe you just did that". A romantic gesture that did exactly what Stan knew it'd do and his jealous side flared up inside him. He picked a stick, not a big one but solid enough to hurt him without doing serious or long-lasting injury. As he stormed towards Kenny who was too busy laughing with the others to notice, he swung and was surprised to see Kenny spin around and catch the stick in his hand like a ninja.

"Oh, you shouldn't have done that", said Wendy.

Stan looked in Kenny's eyes but they were blank, Stan stared dumbfounded at his expressionless face as Kenny tossed Stan several feet over his shoulder and into the jungle gym with absolutely no effort. Stan was confused but got back up and tried to punch Kenny several times only for Kenny to deflect every one with one hand casually at his side. Kenny jumped up into the air and spun around a full circle and kicked Stan a full yard backwards onto his back.

"Stan, I was trying to tell you Kenny's a martial arts master. You know how Chuck Norris got beaten by Bruce Lee in that one movie? Well, Kenny killed Bruce Lee."

Stan had a worried look on his face, "My God, he's invincible then!"

Kenny came over and reached his hand out to help Stan up. Stan angrily rebuffed this offer and swiped his hand away. Getting up, he began to walk away. Wendy stopped him and said,

"Even if you had won, what made you think I would be impressed?"

Stan couldn't think of what to say and just left. With his hands in his pockets and his head down, Kenny pitied him as he disappeared into the distance but Stan knew he had to swallow his pride and ask for help.

Stan sat on a chair outside God's office. The angel secretary at the reception signalled for him to go in.

"Stan Marsh, the lord almighty will see you now"

Stan went in and sat in a chair facing God's desk.

"God, why didn't you answer when I prayed earlier?"

"What, you think I can hear you from all the way up here? If you want my help you have to do your own work and come up here yourself"

"Can you help me now?"

"Sure, what's the problem?"

"My girlfriend left me for somebody else"

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Can't you make her fall in love with me again?"

"But Stan, she doesn't want to be with you right now."

"Rub it in, why don't you?"

"If I do that then she'll be with you against her own will, you'd be forcing her to be with you. And isn't that technically rape?"

"I guess. Well, what can you do?"

"Stan, if you can't figure out what she wants yourself maybe you should consider giving her up to someone who does."

"I see", he sighed.

Stan lay in bed that night, preparing to tell Wendy the next day that he would let her be with Kenny and he would support them. That night, after he eventually got to sleep he dreamed of Wendy and all the good times they had together that he would miss. It was when he got up the next day that he knew what he would do.

School hadn't started yet and everybody stood outside the front doors of the school. Stan arrived and stood with the sunrise behind him like a scene out of a western and he looked ready. He began his walk towards the pair, Kenny was the first to notice Stan coming towards them but he didn't say anything. Stan confidently went over to Wendy and she turned to look at him. Kenny took a step back to give them space and allow them to talk. Stan relaxed as he saw Wendy was not unhappy to see him and didn't seem to be judging him prematurely for what he did yesterday.

"Wendy?"

"Yeah, Stan?"

Stan paused as he realised the whole school was watching, he turned to see literally the entire town inexplicably crowded around the gates watching in anticipation. He turned to see a camera man filming a man from the emergency broadcast channel that transmits to every TV in the world.

"I regret to inform you all that a large meteorite has been spotted heading for Earth and…hey wait, Joe, get this kid over here, I want to see what happens"

The aliens sat in their homes watching the ridiculously popular 'Earth' reality TV show and all one trillion of them were watching Stan to see what he would say.

"So – how are you doing today? Are you alright?"

"What are you doing Stan?"

"I'm asking you about your day, I'm interested in you, all the things you said I wasn't before, well now I am because I care about you and now I'm showing it."

"Stan…" she began before Stan interrupted her.

Stan grabbed her and kissed her, this time without vomiting over her. Without words, Wendy kissed him back and the two hugged and everyone applauded, even the aliens hugged in rejoice at Stan's victory. Stan and Wendy stopped, still holding each other, they looked at Kenny, waiting to see what he would say.

"Mmm-mm-mmm"

"What?"

Kenny took off his hood that was muffling his speech and everyone saw his long, messy, blond hair. He was smiling.

"I said; it's alright Stan. You deserve her, buddy"

"Thanks dude", Stan said. The two smiled back at him and held each other tighter.

Wendy asked worriedly, "What are you going to do now"

"Something"

The bell rang and Stan and Wendy walked into the school holding her hand rather than separately like he used to. Kenny just stood there,

"Well I guess that'll be that then"

Bebe walked over to him and anxiously asked him,

"Since you're not busy with Wendy, do you want to do something together later?"

Something. Exactly what he said he'd do.

"Okay"

The pair held hands and walked back into the school as "Beautiful Day" by U2 played in the background and the sun rose over the horizon and the imaginary credits rolled.

**I hope you enjoyed the story. I wanted it to be more similar to the show than actual fanfiction and I hope I did Kenny justice. Please review and let me know what you think.**


	2. A While Later

**I know it's nothing like the last one but I came up with a couple of the speeches and it used a lot of the same characters so I adapted it into a second chapter for this.**

It had been only a few weeks since Kenny briefly became noticed but it turns out that when you die, everything you do in life becomes forgotten soon after. He wasn't important anymore, nothing he did mattered, just like before, so it wasn't really all that different from usual, which is fine for him. He was back to sitting at the table with the boys, if only as a fourth wheel; again okay for him since he didn't have much to say and now he didn't have to say much.

"Stan, what's up with you?" Kyle asked.

"I broke up with Wendy again"

"Again? Are you alright?"

"No, it's fine; she's a total bitch anyway."

Kenny felt like he had to clear something up.

"Aw Stan, you're just saying that because she broke up with you. It was like the last time you broke up and you called her a bitch then too."

"No, I mean it! I don't ever want to see her again"

"You said that last time too"

Kenny knew that no matter what he said, he really didn't mean it, even if he insisted he did.

"But I mean it this time!"

"Stan, just because she doesn't want to date you anymore doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it"

"Why are you defending her? Do you still have that crush on her?"

"Hahaha, no, of course not, don't be ridiculous"

That wasn't obvious at all.

A while later.

"Kyle?"

"Yeah, what's up Kenny?"

"If Stan and Wendy are broken up, do you know if she's seeing other people? Out of curiosity"

"Kenny, don't even think about it. Remember when I got paired with her on that egg thing and Stan flipped out?"

"I'm not betraying him by doing this am I?"

"Doesn't matter, that's how he'll see it"

"That's totally lame"

"Watch it buddy, you're starting to sound like Cartman"

It was a few days later and Kenny was sitting on a bench outside at recess. Kevin Stoley approached him and asked him about their previous arrangement.

"Did you hear anything from Red? Do you know if she said anything about me?"

"Not really but I'm pretty damn sure if you asked her she would want to date you. I promise"

"I – I can't do it. I'm too scared"

"Come on! What are you scared about? She'll say yes, I'm telling you"

"No no no. She'll think I'm just some loser Star Wars fanboy, she'll reject me and then I'll become a laughing stock. I'll walk past and it'll be, "Look, there's that geek Kevin Stoley. Can you believe he thought Red would go out with him? Can you believe he actually thought any girl would go out with him? What a loser" and I can't take that"

"Wow, that's a really specific worst case scenario. But I told you, she's not like that. Don't you trust me?"

"I'd trust you with my life. I just don't believe you. It's not that I think you're lying, it's that I think you're wrong. I try to picture myself asking her and I physically can't imagine what it would look like if she didn't laugh right in my face or behind my back without it seeming completely unrealistic"

"Look. I'll tell you a secret. I have a huge crush on Wendy. In fact, I think I'm in love with her"

"Awww", he said in a cutesy sing-song voice, "I knew you had a crush on her because you stare at her all the time in class and the cafeteria and the playground…"

"Wait, what? You noticed?"

"Sure, you were looking around for her as I was talking just now; you do it all the time. You're addicted to staring at her. I just didn't know you loved her"

"I didn't realise I was so obvious. Look, the point is, I know exactly how you feel. I know what I'm talking about and that's why you have to listen to me"

"Then why don't you go talk to Wendy then? I'm sure she'll say yes"

"That's different. I'm quiet, she has no idea what I'm actually like so she'll just assume I'm a loser. That's what everyone does with quiet people, it's in their nature"

"Well I think she will say yes but you don't believe me. Tell you what. If you go ask Wendy and she says yes, then I'll know that you're right about girls and I'll ask Red. Sound fair?"

"I can't! You don't understand. I'm utterly terrified at the thought of asking her"

"That's exactly like me. Now you know how I feel. I'm issuing an ultimatum. Prove to me I'm wrong about girls, show me there's nothing to be afraid of and I'll do it"

Kenny had no idea what he was going to do. Asking Wendy was his Everest; Kevin was asking an impossible task of him.

"Hey, Kenny. How's that thing with Kevin going?"

"Oh. Hey, Clyde. Let's just say, I've got it handled. I can't say any more"

"Well, is he going to talk to her?"

Kenny paused and sighed. He looked down at the floor. He couldn't imagine making eye contact as he told him.

"Probably not"

"That's a shame. I know how much he likes her. He'd be so happy with her and he's not going to get to know how it feels because he's worried about nothing."

Kenny knew Clyde was right but it didn't make him want to do it any more. He was convinced he couldn't do it. He just sat down at a lunch table by himself. He didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. But Butters was the first to see if he was alright.

"Hey, buddy. You're looking down, tell Butters what's wrong"

"You don't want to hear about it"

"Sure I do. I want to know what's up with my best friend"

"Why? There's nothing you can do about it. How would knowing what's wrong with me benefit either of us in any way?"

"I don't know but I'm worried about you. C'mon, just tell me and I'm sure there's something I can do"

"No. It's something I have to do myself but I can't. Do me a favour. Try not to worry about me. I don't want to bring you down with me, go off and be happy with your other friends, don't let me make you feel bad"

"Alright. I just want you to know that you can tell me anything. There's nothing you can do more embarrassing than anything I've done"

"I'll keep that in mind"

Craig was next to try and talk to Kenny.

"Look, I know I said that nobody in the school likes you but that doesn't mean we want to see you sad"

"I think it's a bit depressing that people only want to talk to me when I'm moping around with my head in my arms"

"C'mon, man. Don't be like that. Sympathy brings out the best in people"

"I appreciate what you're doing but it's not helping, nothing can"

"Well, good luck with whatever you're doing, I hope you solve it or whatever"

"I hope so too"

Tweek sat down across from Kenny to try and console him as well.

"Gaagh!"

"Thanks for you're concern Tweek. You're a real friend"

"No problem, nnngh, happy to help."

Tweek got up of the seat and ran away back to what he was doing before; which involved but was not limited to freaking out.

Clyde came over to the table next and did whatever he could to talk him up.

"Dude, I know there's something you've got to do and I just want you to know that you should"

"No. I've decided that the solution is to stop trying to get things I can't have. I'm just going to stop wanting things I know I'll never get. I'm going to focus on appreciating the hell out of the things I already have. If I learn to be happy with the little I do have then I won't be as annoyed that I don't have what everyone else has"

"That's good but you shouldn't aim low, you need to aim as high as you can"

"I've realised that if I give up then I can't be disappointed when I try and fail if I don't try"

"Dude, don't do that. Wasn't it Winston Churchill or something that said, "Never give up""

"He said, "Except in good sense". This is me giving up in good sense. Because my failure is inevitable and if I give up then I can't lose anything"

"But you won't gain anything either. I think you're wrong, I think whatever it is you want you can get it and you just don't know it"

Token finally attempted to talk to Kenny. He wasn't sure how Kenny would react since they hadn't really been close before and rarely spoke. He just didn't see how Kenny couldn't like him since everyone else did.

"Hey, Kenny. I just wanted to see how you were doing"

"Go away. You don't know what you're talking about

"What's wrong with me? Do you not like me or something?"

Kenny's tone changed to that of passive-aggressive resentment. He told Token exactly what he thought of him and all with a straight face and a nonchalant voice.

"Don't sound so surprised. You don't know what other people think of you so you assume everyone likes you"

"What's you're problem? Have I done something?"

"You don't understand what I'm going through; you're popular, a straight-A student, you're an athlete, you can sing and play bass without even trying, you're rich and live in a huge mansion while I live in a nearly empty house, you were voted better looking than me by the girls, you have a bigger penis than me according to the chart we did and you got to date Wendy. So don't come to me and pretend you have any idea what problems I've got because it's insulting"

"Why did you mention me dating Wendy last?"

"Stan told me all about how he saw you in her bedroom. What was it like when you were up in her room? How did it feel when she was jacking you off? I bet you think you're so great"

"What?! I don't know what you're talking about; we never did anything or…wait. Are you jealous of me or something?"

Kenny stood up and slammed his fists on the table, the plates on his lunch tray clattered. He leaned forward slightly towards Token and screamed,

"YES!"

Token just stared in shock. He just backed away from the table slowly and turned to leave. Kenny slowly relaxed the look on his face back to regular angry and slowly sank back down into his seat. He lowered his shoulders and returned to his slumped position. He looked around and noticed everyone looking at him. He slammed his hand on the table again and screamed again in anger.

"Fuuuck!"

This is why he kept to himself, or at least one of the reasons he did. The one time he said what he was thinking he wished he'd kept it to himself and put on that fake smile like usual. Kenny got up and walked out of the cafeteria. He new he'd screwed up again and he could hear everyone talking about him, he wondered and feared what they might be saying, what they would think he did that for. He couldn't look at anyone. He had to get out of there and pretend it never happened until it blew over.

"Token, what was all that about with Kenny?"

"Stan, I think he might be jealous of me from when I dated Wendy. I think he has a crush on her"

"I knew it. He wouldn't do that to me though, he wouldn't betray my friendship. Would he?"

As Kenny walked through the corridors of the school, he kept his head down and tried to avoid social interaction at all costs, ironic since he usually wished people would notice him more. He knew however that he would have to make exceptions for his closest friends; he could tell Jimmy for example that he was in a bad mood that day. He could try and explain himself and then Jimmy would spread the excuse around and people would understand. As he was thinking that, Kevin Stoley noticed him and oblivious to the meltdown that had transpired, came up for a friendly chat.

"Hey, Kevin. Listen. I just wanted to say, I'm not going to do it, but I still think you should talk to Red. I've let you down and I don't want you to suffer for it. Whatever I can do to convince you to do it I'll do but I can't talk to Wendy"

"Actually, I just wanted to tell you that Butters told me all about how sad you were and I never said anything but I knew why. It's exactly the way I felt but way worse than I could imagine. I didn't want to end up like that, it sounded painful, so I – well, I talked to Red"

"Really? What did she say?"

"She said yes just like you said. You were absolutely right. My problem was because I didn't know what other people thought about me and I assumed the worst"

"That's great news, I'm so happy for you"

Kenny paused; he had a moment of clarity.

"What is it, Kenny?"

"I've got to go do something"

Kenny rushed off looking happy, he was inspired and was skipping to the exit. The others didn't laugh at him; they simply stopped worrying about him. Kenny was worried they would assume crazy things about him following his episode but nobody cared as much about him as he thought, it's called spotlight syndrome. It never occurred to him that people might just think he was cool.

Kenny was on his way to Stark's Pond. That's where he knew Wendy would be. He had to hurry or lunch would end and he'd miss her; either that or the anticipation would kill him. He could practically hear Muse singing "Time Is Running Out" in his ear. Or maybe that was just his brain trying to motivate him. For once he was so genuinely happy that it put a smile on his face. What got him up in the morning was the hope that one day his life might get better and he didn't want to miss it, now he knew it was going to get better and he couldn't wait. But then he bumped into Stan.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to ask Wendy to go out with me, Stan. So, please don't try to stop me"

"How could you betray me like that?"

"You know what Stan? I'm not trying to spite you, I genuinely love her and I can't go on any longer without telling her. It's unreasonable to expect me to bottle that love up inside just because you used to date her. I understand how you feel and I don't want to hurt you but you can't keep her to yourself, especially if you don't want her. If she wants to see other people then who are you to stop her? You said before you loved her and I don't know if you forgot that there was a time you meant it but if you still care about her at all then you want to see her happy. If you're worried I'll ever treat her badly then I can promise you with my hand on my heart that you have nothing to worry about. I'd never dream of doing anything bad to her and I'll certainly never call her a bitch like you do if she breaks up with me"

"Wow. Well, it'd be hard for me to argue with that speech. You're right. I hope she's happy with you and I hope you're happier with her than I was"

"Thanks"

Kenny rushed to Stark's Pond and saw Wendy there. All his tough talk before went right out the window. His heart was beating so hard he wondered if anybody could hear it; so fast he thought it might wear out like an old gearbox. He had to be strong, he didn't come this way for nothing. His prior conversation with Stan effectively ruined his chances of walking out on it at this point. He didn't know whether to thank himself for that one yet. There were people all around and he couldn't ask her in front of them, he couldn't put her under that kind of pressure. He just sort of looked at her for a while, trying to look inconspicuous. He was comfortable just looking at her, as he always was. Perhaps he was too comfortable and he wouldn't say anything and miss his chance. He knew all he had to do was force himself to get her attention then he would be trapped, he would have to continue with his question or look like an idiot. He forced it out like he was trying to throw up; ironically he also had to stop himself throwing up.

"W-Wendy?"

He had no idea how she would react. Would she know what he was there to ask her? But, why was he so surprised when she reacted so normally?

"Oh, hey Kenny. What is it?"

She said it so normally. She was smiling like she was happy to see him. Suddenly he knew every worry he had was for nothing.

"Can I talk to you for a second? Just, over here for a second"

"Sure"

He was sweating so much he actually stopped to wonder why he wore this dumb parka all the time anyway. Nobody could hear what he was saying, it didn't make any sense.

"I was kinda wondering if you wanted to go see a movie together or something"

"Took you a long time to ask me that; didn't it?"

"You knew?"

"Yeah, you weren't exactly subtle about it. For the record, I would have said yes if you'd asked me any time"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think you're cute. Not that you would know because you never asked me"

"It nice to know exactly how much time I wasted worrying about rejection that I could have been spending with you"

Before he could say anything else she grabbed him. He immediately held her in his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He was smiling and he couldn't stop himself. He kissed as hard as he could. He didn't care what anyone else thought and that's exactly how it should have been. The pair walked off back to school before the next class started.

"You know, you don't have to take me to a movie, there's no good ones out now anyway"

"Good because I can't afford a ticket. I'm not made of made of money. Do you want to just over for dinner instead then?"

"It's alright, you can come over to mine if you'd prefer"

"Good because my house is a dump anyway. Also, I probably won't be able to afford a ticket to the Hiroshima Memorial dance either"

"Sigh. That's okay too…"

**As always, please review and let me know what you think. To be honest, I'm getting a little sick of this pairing so hopefully I'll be doing something completely different in the future. Especially since I said pretty much everything I wanted to say in this one.**


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